ofcrosseddaggers:

sing-thebodyelectric:

today a customer asked me for a “medium whatever” and then got frustrated with me when i asked him what he meant

this is it 

this is the post that 100% accurately describes working with the public

gaymommy:

aubreygraharn:

mrscreamguy:

So, you know how some Nicki Minaj fans don’t know why we hate her?

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Also, she said misandry isn’t real

So, basically, fuck her.

ThIS THE FUNNEIST POST I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

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slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

eveningoutwithyourgirlfriend:

this will forever be my favorite tweet of all time
Touring Woolly Mammoth Theater today! #actf14  (at Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company)
I always get the wing view on planes. It’s because I’m the best respondent to a fire or an asgardian attack. #actf14
Like mother, like daughter. #gameofthrones #got

keelahsomethigh:

when u hurt ur boob

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chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

edsock:

lamebert:

why dont they have viagra for self esteem

have you tried vodka